Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

Easily enough, I tried to get into contact with the Rivas Family, and within a few rings, the one hell of a butler and my powerlifting mentor, Sebastian, answered the call.

"Monsieur Ishiyama, to what do I owe the pleasure of you calling me at this hour? Of course, the Madam, the Mademoiselle, and the "Mademoiselle’s big hunk of a husband are also awake and making babies—not at the same time, of course, and obviously on separate rooms, so yeah… that took a turn… ’sup?

"Hah! It’s that boring over there, huh?"

"Not to offend the Madam but yes, incredibly so. I attempted to de-seed five strawberries today and it was the highlight! Can you believe that?"

"I thought you were out and about witch-hunting?"

"It’s a slow process, yes, but I do have people to delegate the work to. I may be the best person in the job but my services are required in the estate, unfortunately. The madam can’t just have the best talent elsewhere."

"Ah~ I see. Too bad I wouldn’t be able to take you on the grandest of adventures I’ll be in—including Quinn and a few others—in a month or so…"

"Oh? Can I know what it is?"

"Overseas. Japan—"

"One of the first countries to fall?! W-Why would you embark on such an exciting— I-I mean— a dangerous voyage?"

"Family, for one. And I’m not even sure how long we’ll be there sooo~ I’m not really sure if Sal would allow you to leave for long."

"Ah… That’s really unfortunate. It seems that asking about it was a bad idea— Still, I’m honored you thought of taking me but… Is there a reason you wanted to bring me with you?"

"I just wanted you to know my other family and see if the my old man can see something in you— which in my opinion, he’d definitely will and if we’re lucky, he’d make you a weapon though that would take far longer if he decides to make you a custom piece."

"Ah…"

"Sebastian?"

"M-Monsieur, I really think we should stop talking about this since I’m getting overly agitated about that notion… If I have free time, I would love to come but what was the reason for your call? I believe we exchanged enough pleasantries and you’ve caught up in my boring affairs enough so we could finally discuss about your inquiry."

"Right. I may have received news of something positive about the dead and I contacted you guys since you have the biggest farms I’ve seen so far, I wanted to let you in on it but warn you at the same time."

As soon as I said that, Edith gave me a glance because she thought I’d just ask them outright without being sly about it just to catch them on a lie. However, I just mouthed at her to trust and bear with me a little bit since with the way I was as a person, it was just a normal thing for me to do and I don’t necessarily trust everyone else I just met recently 100%.

But yeah, I wasn’t sure if Sebastian caught on it or he trusted me that much as he simpy answered with:

"Ah— If you know umm… our secret crops we grow for its byproducts… we have a discovery from way back, I assumed the Miss would inform you but I guess not."

"What discovery?"

"I… Can I infer with the madam for a bit? Or if the Miss is close to you, you can also ring her up for confirmation."

"Sure. Call me in a few minutes?"

"That would be ideal, yes."

And right as we ended the call, Edith was wearing a difficult expression as she was still keeping quiet the whole time, and aside from her breathing, she also had her fists clenched showing displeasure from what I just did.

I sighed as I looked at her, "I’m sorry—"

"You’re sorry? Couldn’t you have just asked us— them, straight-up?"

"I could— And I don’t wanna say that you could’ve just told us but, you know, this thing is all sorts of complicated. You could be using us as test subjects or just spreading whatever it is around since you’ve already consumed it, so— Shit, I’m an asshole, aren’t I?"

Edith shook her head, "At least you know… I may not know a lot about Aunt Sal’s dealing with the cartel business and all but she wouldn’t do anything absurd to the people she trusts and care for. And you all are included in that, she genuinely likes you—and not just that even to regular people, she wouldn’t do them bad unless they slighted her."

"I could still disagree with that last statement of yours."

"What about it?"

"I mean— while its true the drugs you made were for addicts, who are essentially bad people in my book long ago—well~ depending on the circumstances sure, but 90% bad people—there are also innocents affected by their use indirectly and directly."

"U-Umm… I-I guess that’s true but that doesn’t mean that—"

"Either way, it’s about being responsible for what they put on the table or distribute to the masses at the end of the day. Can we at least agree on that? It may not have any effect besides plants growing at a significant rate than normal but we still have to be 100% sure, right?"

"..."

"Edith?"

"N-No, you’re right about that. I didn’t think of it t-that way, sorry— a-and umm… thank you."

"You’re thanking me?"

"Isn’t that the normal thing to d-do when you learn something important? Or if you’re awoken to something much better?"

"Hmm, sure—"

At that moment, my phone began to ring and at this moment, Sal was already on the other side of the line. Obviously, we bantered a bit though she was more focused on egging me to put a baby in Edith—which eventually led Edith to speak out and curse out her aunt. Still, it didn’t take long before we got back to business and she spoke her truth.

"I’mma tell you straight. While that discovery’s good and all, it feels like cheating and an insult to my hard work. I can grow the same shit without the bullshit fertilizer and I couldn’t care less for the people that would snort the shit I grew for them, if you get what I mean. Unless we’re really trying to catch up on our harvests, I won’t dare to fucking risk it."

I tried to probe a little more, "I thought you were in a rush to send everyone else their orders—"

"It’s a transportation problem, not an inventory problem. Thanks to you and the Rivas Family, that’s solved but where did you come upon this discovery? Do you have people who aren’t taking care of their farms correctly? Just a tip, if you’re getting imports from other people, do be careful if you’re consuming it.

If not, just pay close attention to the fucks you feed it to so you know whether to join the bandwagon or not."

"That reminds me, you don’t process them to bonemeal, right? You just straight-up dump the bodies with the Poppy flowers and they still grew significantly faster, right? And you haven’t tried them with other crops?"

"One, we have enough fertilizer to go around, and two, it’s just not worth it to make bone meal out of dead bodies since we have animal bones to make it as well. Why would we remove the fat and all that shit to produce that dumb product if we can just dump it on them and have the plants just absorb it from the source?

It’s not like they’re animals who drop dead the moment the virus gets into their system. I’m telling you, some fucking vegan is responsible for this and that bitch’s meat-hating has gone to the extreme! I fucking swear I’ll smack her with a porkchop and a fucking tomahawk if it’s the last thing I’ll do!"

"Good, at least we got to deal the final blow, heh.

In any case, I can’t speak much about the virus when dried to bits since it’d also be in a lot of heat—and I’m not sure if it’d be burned enough to disappear or lose its potency—but for now, until we get a go-ahead from our scientists or doctors, even though some people have already consumed them, I advise we abstain until we really are in dire straits."

"Wait, who had consumed them?"

"Some people I have in contact with in Japan. They mentioned an old dude bringing in vegetables and fruits for trade and they got kind of confused at to the quality and quantity of his crops. That’s when they were informed of his discovery about turning corpses to fertilizer."

"I mean—I do still have some prisoners over here… I can confirm it with my own eyes if I so wanted."

I thought for a bit before I replied, "I’m not gonna tell you what to do about them but all I ask is blood work and proper documentation."

Experience tales at empire

"Sure, all I ask is a few grandkids—"

Then I quickly hung up the phone.

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