My Wife Came From A Thousand Years Ago

Chapter 98: Can You Beat the Monkey?

As the Spring Festival drew closer day by day, Xu Qing’s martial arts journey was finally on track.

After several postponements, Jiang He finally began teaching him boxing.

Tangshou Quan was called a "fist" technique, but it didn’t use the fists much. It mainly relied on the palm. According to Jiang He, once you mastered the "three sharp points"—the palm, grappling, and leg techniques—you’d basically be ready to graduate.

"Why does it look so ordinary?" Xu Qing asked as he waved his hand.

In her hands, it felt powerful and fierce. In his, it was like an old man brawling. He wasn’t even sure if he could beat the Lightning Five-Strike Whip.

"Tangshou Quan focuses on quick, decisive moves. It’s all about spotting the enemy’s weaknesses and striking a killing blow. Look at this move…"

Jiang He was about to demonstrate when Xu Qing, terrified, quickly shouted, "Wait! I haven’t learned it yet! Don’t use me as a guinea pig!"

"…"

"And why would I need to learn a one-hit kill move? You’re afraid I won’t get arrested? What if I end up killing someone in a fight…"

Xu Qing practiced the three moves she just taught him, kicking and punching, then suddenly asked, "If I learn this, can I beat a monkey?"

Jiang He paused, puzzled. "Why do you want to fight a monkey?"

"Just wondering… I guess I could knock them out with one punch." Xu Qing clenched his fist and got motivated again.

Luckily, they were on the first floor. No one would come complaining about the noise from his stomping and kicking. Otherwise, the door might have been knocked down by now.

"Practicing stances helps you commit them to muscle memory. When the moves become second nature, you’ll know how to exploit the enemy’s weaknesses without thinking. So practice diligently…"

"I know, like how a singer keeps practicing scales and a boxer never stops throwing punches," Xu Qing replied.

He didn’t know much about martial arts, but he was familiar with that principle. That scene where Jet Li punched the pillar in Fearless, saying, "This punch has twenty years of training behind it," used to get him so hyped up he wanted to go find a stone slab and start punching every day.

He spent his mornings doing stance training, evenings practicing his punches, handling his tasks during the day, and at night, watching movies with Jiang He or helping her learn pinyin. Writing movie reviews to maintain his online presence made life feel fulfilling. It almost made him think he was the chosen protagonist, eagerly awaiting some evil organization to come knocking so he and Jiang He could team up to defeat them.

Knock knock knock!

His wild fantasies were interrupted by a knock at the door. Wiping his sweat, Xu Qing opened the door to find Xiao Yan, who came to play with Winter Melon and get some homework help.

"Xu-gege!" she called cheerfully.

"Come on in. Is your grandma out again?" Xu Qing ruffled her hair as she entered.

"Uh-huh!"

Bored at home, with her grandpa dozing on the couch in front of the TV, she brought her homework down, supposedly to study, but really to play with Winter Melon.

"Hi, Jiang He-jiejie!" she called, not shy at all.

"Hello, Xiao Yan," Jiang He greeted her, feeling a bit awkward.

A small change to their otherwise monotonous life.

Seeing Xiao Yan set her books down and run off to hug Winter Melon, Jiang He asked, "Do you want an orange?"

"No, I ate lots of apples at home!" Xiao Yan shook her head, then pouted. "I forgot to bring some down…"

"You don’t need to. We have some too," Xu Qing said with a smile.

"My grandma bought them. They’re huge!"

"I bought huge ones too," Xu Qing laughed.

With a guest around, practice was out of the question. Xu Qing turned to his computer to get some work done.

His recent wuxia confession compilation got double the usual views. Even his later videos with fight scene effects didn’t do as well. He planned to strike while the iron was hot and make another one. Maybe even a series—love, hate, betrayal… He could also cover scumbags and iconic scenes from period dramas, like:

"I think I came at a bad time?"

"No, you came at the perfect time."

(Three people hugging.jpg)

Xiao Yan, after lecturing Winter Melon on losing weight, gently petted it and wandered over to Xu Qing. Seeing him typing out ideas on his document, she quickly got bored and ran over to Jiang He.

"Jiang He-jiejie, are you playing a game?"

"No, I’m working." Jiang He’s fingers flew over the keyboard, grinding dungeons as a blind monk character. Each run gave her a little more hope that her wallet might soon fatten up.

Let’s go! (Aoli gei!)

Some people had farmed 24 Spring Festival bundles in a month, earning over 9,000 yuan. After Xu Qing did the math for her a few days ago, she felt endless motivation.

9,000 yuan a month! More than Xu Qing earned.

A rich woman’s journey begins with farming.

What Xu Qing didn’t tell her was that those people had over 40 accounts, while she barely had 10.

"Let Winter Melon help you with your homework. You haven’t done a single word!" Xu Qing flipped through her homework. It was cleaner than his relationship with Jiang He—absolutely nothing done.

"Winter Melon can’t do it."

"Teach it, and it’ll learn."

"Oh."

Xiao Yan considered it, then sat on the couch, opened her math book, and started calculating while chatting with Winter Melon.

As night fell, Jiang He finished her grind, stretched, and looked over at Xu Qing working on his laptop, Xiao Yan counting on her fingers, and Winter Melon looking miserable. After a moment of quiet, she poured hot water for everyone.

"You should look at her homework. Using your brain helps keep you sharp," Xu Qing said, nodding toward Xiao Yan.

"Really?"

Curious, Jiang He picked up a language workbook. Xu Qing saved his video and went over to check on Xiao Yan’s progress.

"I don’t know these," Xiao Yan pointed to the tricky problems, pulling the reluctant Winter Melon back to listen to the explanation.

Xu Qing took the pen and examined her homework. "This one…"

Jiang He held the workbook, stealing glances at Xu Qing patiently helping Xiao Yan. The scene reminded her of the old accountant back in the village, who taught her to read in the same way.

Except Xu Qing didn’t sigh or grumble, and he knew far more than that old scholar.

By the time they finished, it was 8 p.m. Xiao Yan reluctantly let go of Winter Melon and said goodbye.

"Walk her upstairs," Xu Qing said casually to Jiang He.

"Huh? Oh, okay."

Jiang He paused, then grabbed her coat.

"It’s just a few floors. I won’t get lost," Xiao Yan said.

"I’m just worried you’ll trip and roll down the stairs," Xu Qing teased. "Go on."

Xiao Yan carefully climbed the stairs, afraid of tumbling down like Xu Qing joked. At her door, she knocked loudly.

"Grandma, open the door!"

Cheng Yulan shuffled over, opened the door, and froze briefly upon seeing Jiang He.

"Thank you, jiejie! Bye, jiejie!" Xiao Yan waved.

"You’re welcome," Jiang He replied.

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